Kate, 25, 02/02/2020

We found you because you recently posted online a popular tweet:

“Last night a man got out of his car and followed me, yelling, while I walked to my apartment.. but then I remembered Not All Men and felt peaceful n safe”

Can you tell me a little about that night?

Mhm. So, basically I live in an apartment where the door to the building you have to unlock before you go upstairs. And so, I was coming home late, and I do stand up comedy before so I was probably coming back from like a show, umm, probably like midnight or 1 AM. And, I parked my car on a side street and was walking to my apartment when this guy in a car, he like, pulled over and was yelling at me, and I don’t remember what he was yelling, but he was angry and then he started to get out of his car. Meanwhile, I’m like, fumbling with my keys, trying to get the door open. I got it open, and I got inside, and I was really shaken up, you know. I’m pretty upset, and um, my roommate came out of her room and hugged me, calmed me down. And comedy is kind of how I deal with, uh, negative things in my life, and so I was like “haha, not all men really helps you guys” [laughter]. And I honestly have a lot of great men in my life, everyone knows that not all men are bad. It’s just not helping anything. 

How old were you the first time you got catcalled?

Probably not until college, but only because I grew up in a small town. So, I don’t think it really happened until I was interning in New York City and living there for a while. I would get catcalled a bunch, around 19.

Do you have strategies to avoid catcalling?

I would say it depends. If I’m alone and it’s at night, and I feel like they could be dangerous I won’t say anything. But, if it’s like, in the middle of the day and there’s tons of people around maybe I’ll say something. But it depends on the context.

What is your scariest experience with catcalling?

Definitely the one by my apartment. Because, you know, that’s where I live. I don’t know who this guy is, and I don’t know why he’s so upset. I don’t know, I think he was angry for some other reason and just decided to take it out on me. That was definitely the scariest. 

What would you like to say to men who catcall?

I would say, you know, leave women alone. We are just going about our days. Especially if it’s a situation when they’re by themselves and you could be making them feel really unsafe and scared. I don’t think a lot of them realize how threatening it can come off as. I have been in an experience on like, the other side of that where I was walking and there was a guy kinda behind me and he sensed that this could come off as creepy, so he walked a little slower and gave me some space. I appreciate stuff like that. Where they are doing the opposite, and trying to make women feel safer. 

Why do you think that men catcall?

I think it’s mostly a power thing. I think it’s also a thing to seem tough in front of their buddies, or to remind women “hey, I’m the one with the power” you know. I do think most of them don’t mean it to be scary. But they don’t realize that we do have to worry about those men who mean to hurt us. So we can’t assume that they are all safe. 

What would you like to say to young women who are getting catcalled?

I would like to say, keep fighting the good fight. I think it’s great that more women are speaking out about it and taking that power back. It’s really important. Yeah. I’m gonna keep making jokes about it. I think everyone is doing their part.